翻譯工作是一個(gè)主觀的和再創(chuàng)作的過程。是一種藝術(shù),沒有標(biāo)準(zhǔn)答案(大家可參見很多世界名著的翻譯)。就是在很多時(shí)候你不能說一個(gè)人翻譯的不對,你的對,因?yàn)橛迷~及其語言都有個(gè)人的愛好在里面。再是原文作者的水平也是不一樣的,表述的方式方法和技術(shù)技藝也不相同。一篇好的翻譯,評判標(biāo)準(zhǔn)應(yīng)該是什么?什么是好?應(yīng)該是沒有答案的。一個(gè)好的譯者首選要具有一定的工作經(jīng)驗(yàn),知曉行業(yè)術(shù)語、商業(yè)術(shù)語,具有語言的敏感度,其次要能選對用詞,再是要有大量的時(shí)間來對原文進(jìn)行邏輯理順,做好解讀和妥協(xié),只有這樣才能譯出好的作品。對想學(xué)好英語的同學(xué)們或是想人事翻譯的譯者,我想從大家常說的信、達(dá)、雅等主觀感受,從以下三個(gè)方面與大家探討,僅供參考。
一、詞匯要準(zhǔn)確地道
以下這些只是具體例子,都是從學(xué)習(xí)英語開始老師要求我們背課文、背單詞、聽寫的時(shí)候考察的主要內(nèi)容,是做好翻譯的基礎(chǔ)。
“紙箱”,應(yīng)該是“carton”而不是“paper box”。
“報(bào)廢汽車”,應(yīng)該是“used vehicles”而不是“waste vehicles”。
“專題活動(dòng)”應(yīng)該是“featured events”而不是“special events”。
公司的“理念”一般用“philosophy”而不是“notion”。
“第一責(zé)任人”是“focal point”而不是“the first person responsible”。
“質(zhì)量保證”是“quality assurance”而不是“quality guarantee”。
“經(jīng)驗(yàn)交流”是“experience sharing”而不是“exchange of experience”。
“視頻會(huì)議”是“conference calls”而不是“video meetings”。
“精確洞察”是“gain insights”,我譯成“exactly see through”。
“重大故障”是“major defects”而不是“major failure”。
“預(yù)約服務(wù)”是“appointment service”而不是“reservation service”。
“服務(wù)節(jié)”是“service campaign”而不是“service festival”。
“信息讀取”是“information accessing”而不是“information reading”。
“利益相關(guān)方”是“stakeholders”而不是“interested parties”。
“客流量提升”是“grow shop traffic”而不是“rise the flow volume”。
“高度認(rèn)可”是“highly recognized”而不是“highly admitted”。
環(huán)保意識提升:awareness raising for environment protection
在…的指導(dǎo)下:… be observed to…
征集建議:call on…proposals
滿足…要求:comply with/serve…needs
構(gòu)建競爭力:build up competitiveness
指導(dǎo)思想:guiding principle
將…貫穿于…中:…be kept at the core throughout…
在…的基礎(chǔ)上:in addition to…/on top of…
備案:put on file
查詢:make enquiries about…
提前:earlier than schedule
開展:kick off
在…取得一系列成就:serve as milestones of…
重裝上市:relaunch on the market
…帶來的:triggered by…
面對…的現(xiàn)狀:in the context of…
理解:take a deep insight into…
排憂解惑:address one’s concerns
換季養(yǎng)車所需:maintenance needs for seasonality
代步車服務(wù):dispatch scooter service
讓…了解:inform…about…
與---無縫銜接:connect…with…seamlessly
…的表現(xiàn):…as testimony of…
二、句法要通暢多變
句法方面有很多要注意的,比如學(xué)會(huì)用被動(dòng),學(xué)會(huì)補(bǔ)充主語。這里主要通過例子說一點(diǎn):學(xué)會(huì)用名詞替代動(dòng)詞短語甚至是從句。
原文:他們觀察到,當(dāng)今社會(huì)對心智障礙人士了解和接納程度有限,在很多情況下,人們心中不免還會(huì)存在智障者令人不適的感官印象。最終,創(chuàng)始人從孩子的角度出發(fā),用洗車這樣的工作模式去切入社會(huì)問題。
譯文:They are aware that the public understand very little of the intellectually disabled people, therefore in most occasions, still feel uncomfortable about these special people. Instead, they decided to set up a car wash to get these people employed and integrated into the society.
校正:They were cautious at the lack of understanding on people who have special needs and their discomfort as a result. Thus, they decided to set up a car wash to provide employment and integrate individuals with special needs into the society.
三、段落要邏輯嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)
這個(gè)差別根源于中英文的語言差異。英文是樹枝,從一點(diǎn)慢慢延伸出去,環(huán)環(huán)相扣,緊密相連;中文是珍珠,大珠小珠落玉盤,看上去很美,但是彼此之間沒有什么關(guān)系。翻譯的時(shí)候,需要很多適應(yīng)和調(diào)整。
比如原文:一方面,項(xiàng)目投資不大,技術(shù)含量不高,可操作性又強(qiáng)。另外一方面,對男孩子來說,玩水、打泡沫本身就是一種樂趣,所以能讓孩子們在工作中找到樂趣,那就是一件一舉兩得幸福的事情。
譯文:On one hand, a car wash requires little investment and technology, and is easy to operate. On the other hand, it can be fun for boys to play water and spray foam, which means the disabled staff can gain happiness in the process of working, getting a double advantage.
校正:Starting a car wash requires little investment and technology and is easy to operate. In addition, the job scope of spraying foam and water is fun and translate into happy talks for the disabled staff.
評述:譯者有沒有這個(gè)勇氣去改變原文“on one hand....on the other hand...”的句式?有的時(shí)候要敢于“見意忘形”?吹街形木椭苯尤タ焖俎D(zhuǎn)換,是很簡單很省事的,但是是偷懶的。好的作品都是思考出來的。
再比如原文:xxx品牌制定了經(jīng)銷商管理規(guī)范、制定并實(shí)施經(jīng)銷商激勵(lì)政策、提供必要的管理資源、提升經(jīng)銷商能力、監(jiān)測經(jīng)銷商銷售服務(wù)滿意度并明確優(yōu)先改進(jìn)項(xiàng)、評估經(jīng)銷商運(yùn)營風(fēng)險(xiǎn)和預(yù)警,推動(dòng)經(jīng)銷商持續(xù)改進(jìn)。xxx品牌特別將“選、育、用、留”作為人力資源管理的基本理念,基于這一理念制定系列的培訓(xùn)與輔導(dǎo)措施,以幫助經(jīng)銷商提升人力資源管理實(shí)踐技能,從而推動(dòng)經(jīng)銷商各項(xiàng)業(yè)務(wù)的整體發(fā)展。
譯文:XXX established dealer management regulations,laid down and implemented the dealer incentive policies, provided necessary management resources, improved dealers’ ability, monitored the sales service satisfaction for dealers and confirmed the prior advancements, assessed the operational risks and warnings of dealers to push dealers’ continuous improvements. XXX used “choose, cultivate, employ and retain” as the basic idea of human resource management, and a series of trainings and tutoring measures based on the idea are laid down to help dealers improve the practical skills of human resource management, so as to drive the integral development of dealers’ businesses.
這是非常典型的中文報(bào)告風(fēng)格。幾萬字的報(bào)告,通篇都是這樣的原話,有的時(shí)候譯者也比較難產(chǎn),會(huì)在心里糾結(jié),為什么原作者不能把邏輯寫得更加順暢清晰一些呢?
修改過后是這樣:
原文剖析:xxx品牌制定了經(jīng)銷商管理規(guī)范,(同時(shí))制定并實(shí)施經(jīng)銷商激勵(lì)政策、(目的是)提供必要的管理資源、提升經(jīng)銷商能力(和下文意思重復(fù),刪去)、(手段是)監(jiān)測經(jīng)銷商銷售服務(wù)滿意度(因此才能)并明確優(yōu)先改進(jìn)項(xiàng)、評估經(jīng)銷商運(yùn)營風(fēng)險(xiǎn)和預(yù)警,推動(dòng)經(jīng)銷商持續(xù)改進(jìn)。xxx品牌特別將“選、育、用、留”作為人力資源管理的基本理念,(在理念上更進(jìn)一步的體現(xiàn)是)基于這一理念制定系列的培訓(xùn)與輔導(dǎo)措施,以幫助經(jīng)銷商提升人力資源管理實(shí)踐技能,從而推動(dòng)經(jīng)銷商各項(xiàng)業(yè)務(wù)的整體發(fā)展(為什么會(huì)有兩個(gè)目的?)。
校正:XXX has implemented a dealer management policy and incentive scheme to allocate resources. Service satisfactory surveys have been used to identify insufficiencies, evaluate operation risks and issue early warnings, with an aim of continuous improvement. The right talents are selected, nurtured, hired and retained by all means to help dealer build a talent pool. On top of that, a series of trainings and mentoring will also be provided to grow dealers’ human resource management skills for better business performance.
評述:詞匯上更注重歸納總結(jié),邏輯上更注重因果、并列、遞進(jìn)的關(guān)系;表達(dá)上更注重變換,除了主謂賓的句式之外,選用被動(dòng)語態(tài)、介詞短語、名詞化來減少重復(fù)。